[Originally posted September 2010]

Have a look at this picture.  I think it’s a pretty cool picture.  Risked soaking my iPhone in efforts to try and capture a cool photo while aboard my new stand-up paddleboard.  This stand-up paddleboard is kind of a big deal for me these days.  It’s my newest toy.  I go through these phases – find something new and I sink every waking second of attention to it.  It happened with bicycles, it happened with guitars, and now it’s my stand-up paddleboard.

Why?  Probably because as of right now, I’m the only game in town when it comes to stand-up paddleboarding.  I go out each weekend and I have all the water to myself.  Me, and a dozen other douchebags in their boats.  That’s not fair – they’re not all douchebags.  That’s just my jealousy from lacking the means to possess some motored fiberglass husk that’ll keep me from drowning in the middle of the Long Island Sound.  Plus I can’t be arsed to learn about boats.

The paddleboard is just fine for me.

It’s the closest I’ll ever get to surf culture, which was something that was highly aspirational to me as a kid growing up in a non-surfing country (stupid non-surfing, dream-killing country).  And I don’t have any serious risks on the paddleboard.  I stand on this this, I stand-up and paddle like a lunatic and get all sorts of strange glares and curious questions about what the hell I’m doing out there on the water.

But I digress.  That picture up there annoys me.

Why?  Because I took it, and I was massively impressed with it.  It’s me (kinda), paddleboarding in the Long Island Sound, and it’s a view of the Bronx.  The Bronx, motherfucker.  You ever see the Bronx looking like that?  Law & Order ever show you a sight of the Bronx like that, with trees and water… and a 12-foot surfboard thing?  Like fuck.

So, to me that’s an pretty interesting picture.  I like it.  I send it to friends (yay, I’m doing my part in the social media scene!).  I post it on my Facebook.  And I send it to the SUP ATX page – the board I own is an SUP ATX.  I sent it in hopes of getting some props for taking a cool, unexpected picture.  But no, these dicks just ignore it.  Instead, they’re posting up and lauding pictures of other douchebags on their paddleboards that aren’t even that interesting.  It’s shit I’ve seen over and over and over again.  Hey assholes, I just sent you a picture of your stupid ass paddleboard in the middle of the Bronx, with nice waters and big green trees.  How about some props for the effort!

Assholes.