Ahhh, the thrill of holiday shopping.  Made more fun when shopping at an outlet mall.  And at the outlet mall, you will see the stupidest people on earth:

Notice the almost-all-Asian line-up outside the Burberry store.  My people are idiots sometimes.  I’ve already gone on record with my unending loathing of all things Burberry, so to see fuckwits line up for the privilege of entering the store to blow shitloads of cash on that ghastly brown plaid, it’s enough to make me want to take a baseball bat to every asshole in that line.  What a queue of douchebags.

This sight caused several minutes of gut-busting hilarity.  There were easily 50 fucktards lined up outside the Coach store.  Motherfucking Coach.  The fucking Applebee’s of bagware.  And these assholes were lined up for hours trying to get in and to buy some of that shit.  That’s like standing around waiting to order a greasy, deep-fried onion.  Oh wait, people do that at Outback restaurants, don’t they.  Fuck, people are stupid.

Welcome to 2005, stupid.  The next most hilarious line at the outlet mall: the line of 50 or so dummies stretched to the end of that building.  For fucking Uggs.  Those stupid boots that so fucking dated, Napoleon Dynamite’s moonboots were laughing at these assholes.

And speaking of assholes:

“I tiny-dicked shitbag” more like.  It took every ounce of self-restraint not to cut that convertible top open and take a shit in the driver’s seat.  Rule my steaming pile, you festering testicle.

Holiday shopping, ain’t it grand.