Yes, there is an overwhelming amount of teeth-gnashing and grumbling over the Jets’ brilliant move to pick up Tim Tebow.  I know my Twitter feed and Facebook updates page practically imploded with Jets fans seeming to perform a virtual mass suicide yesterday.  Poor Jets fans.  And yesterday was the one and only day I was rooting harder than I’d ever rooted for the Jets.

But I can’t help but see the upside of this whole circus around Tim Tebow playing for the Jets.  I only see fun and good things.

 

 

Let me explain:

  • By releasing Peyton Manning, the Colts put a domino effect into motion that pretty much guarantees that the Jets will have the Colts’ 2011 season record for several years to come.  As if it was as simple as taking off a sportcoat (clearly not a yellow sportcoat) and putting it on someone else.  Which sets up the next point…
  • The Jets will also have a lock on the first overall draft pick for 2013 and several years after that.  Not because they’ll trade up, but because they’ll have earned it outright.  Who gives a shit about the loss of your fourth- and sixth-round draft picks?  You’re number one, baby!
  • With all the money the Jets will save from all the costs of not going to the Super Bowl anytime in the near future, maybe they scrounge up enough money to entice Sean Payton to sign on as head coach after his one-year suspension is done.  Because this is clearly the last year that Rex Ryan will be allowed anywhere near the Jets.
  • They made everyone think they were signing another QB, but what they’ve really done here is fortify their running game.  This is sort of chicanery is super-competitive cloak-and-dagger shit.  Cheer up, Dirty Sanchez, you’re still on deck to throw 50 interceptions this coming season!
  • With a fresh face in town, maybe Ford will be inclined to replace Derek Jeter in all those gawdawful commercials.  Anything to get Jeter’s shitty acting off our TVs, amirite?
  • The media can’t seem to get enough of Tebow.  Nevermind that anyone with any working knowledge of football knows that he’s a textbook disaster of a football player, because who gives a shit about facts, it’s the media we’re talking about!  So what better market for Tebow to be in than New York?  You know that every network in NY just pissed themselves in delight the minute the pen left the signed contracts yesterday.  Huge win for the media, guys!
  • Antonio Cromartie was clearly not happy with Tebow coming to town.  But these two are gonna get along just fine. They’re going to be BFFs halfway through training camp, I just know it.  Cromartie clearly loves children, and Tebow is all about pro-life.  These two are all about babies and children and shit.  And if babies and children can’t bring us together, what will?

Thanks for this move, it’s going to be an AWESOME year for EVERYONE, guys.  The atmosphere in the league has gotten quite dark in recent years – crippling head injuries, player stomping, bounties, and a myriad of other fiascos.  This trade injects a healthy amount of much-needed comedy and levity into the sport.  The Jets are being the Jettiest they’ve ever been.  And all is right in the universe.